For some odd reason, guilt becomes a standard emotion. As a new mom, every decision comes riddled in doubt. From ‘am I dressing him right?’ to ‘is he getting enough food?’, ‘should I let him sleep next to me?’ ‘Is he sleeping too much?’ ‘Eating too much?’ ‘Pooping too much?’, ‘am I doing anything right’? Everything related to the little one comes with its own set of questions and you don’t always have the answers and that’s where the guilt kicks in.
Having people – family included – questioning your choices and decisions does not help one bit. It is stressful enough for a new mom to have every decision questioned and it just makes it worse when someone else succeeds in what you seemed to have failed. You can’t burp your baby but someone else can? BOOM! You must be a terrible mom! You can’t make him stop crying but someone else can? Of course you are a failure. Guilt guilt guilt. Which usually ends in bouts of tears, just part of everyday.
It drives me a bit nuts and emotional a lot of the time, but I am trying and keeping it under wraps. I know I am doing my best, and for now that is enough. At least, for most of the time, when I am not drowning in self-pity or wondering why my baby doesn’t like me, I am okay and dealing with it.
I have had my utterly stupid moments: such as wiping sterilized bottles with tissue and not knowing how to freeze an ice pack *rolls eyes* but at those times, I try and laugh it off before the guilt starts.
Guilt is like a shadow during this time. Hopefully it’ll get subdued as we go along, or so I hope. One thing that does help is a giant hug from the hubby, and crying it out. You. Not the baby. When you are feeling overwhelmed and drowning in emotions, it is fine to let go and cry your heart out.