The Half Month Mark – Baby Blues
It is so real, and alarming. Baby blues is exhausting, and completely drains you. It almost feels like a leech sucking the happiness out of your life. Almost 75% of all new moms go through this, so you are not alone, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Did I miss being pregnant? Not at all. I was more than happy to have my little one with me. So it wasn’t that. It was just me feeling blue. I was constantly on the verge of tears, and every little thing irritated me. It hits you hard the first week after your baby is here. Till about ten days.
Even when you know that this is what it is; even when the logic part of your brain tells you that this is baby blues, you cannot control it. No matter how hard you try, and no matter how much support you have, this is something that you have to deal with yourself. I thought I was losing my mind, and myself. Every time my baby was not next to me, or with his father, I would go into an abyss of incomparable sorrow. I knew he was just next door, or with his grandparents, I knew that he was safe, and was being well taken care of, but it didn’t matter. Not with me, and I was lost.
The moment I realized he didn’t have his new baby smell anymore, I was an absolute and complete wreck. And sometimes, well, most times, there wasn’t a real reason to feel off but I did.
And the thing is, I had a wonderful birth experience, so I couldn’t figure out why I was going through this. So impatient with everything, and snappy. Confused.
Know that it is normal
It is all the hormones being all over the place, and being thrown into a completely new world full of responsibility. Yes, you are welcoming all the responsibility and challenges, and are not necessarily daunted by the prospect but it still seems scary and upsetting. and it does not help that you are sleep deprived and fatigued.
And then you feel worse for feeling blue, and that makes you more upset. Come on! I’ve just given birth, and it is such a joyous occasion but I am feeling sad? There must be something wrong with me
The moment I had my baby in my hands or lying next to me, the difference in my face, and demeanour was so evident. Or so my husband says. And Alhamdulilah, my husband continues to be a star and be there for me through it all. There is nothing I can say or do to show how grateful I am for his patience and understanding and support. Even when he is exhausted beyond all levels, even when he hasn’t had a wink of sleep, he has been there for me, wiping away my tears and consoling me. And each time I realize how much I have been blessed.
Talk to the Man
Ladies, I urge you to have heart to heart conversations with your husband, and others who will be there taking care of you. Share articles about baby blues with them; prepare them at least a little for what is to come. Let them know when you are upset, and blue. And allow them to help you through it. Trust me, you will need the support.
And also try and track yourself. Is it just baby blues or are you delving into something worse? Postpartum depression is something that many women have to deal with. And in some cases, women with postpartum have hurt themselves or even their babies. If you feel like you are grappling with too many emotions and cannot get a handle on yourself, get professional help. There is no shame in asking for help, and you need to be the one to reach out.
Keep an eye on yourself, and take care.